he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
