Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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