This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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