U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
