is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
