Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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