Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
