Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
