R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
