What a fucking waste of an outfit
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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