you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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