sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
