you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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