3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
