i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
