My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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