Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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