I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
you never un-have a 4some
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
