are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
