porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
