Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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