I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
