I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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