how hairy? two words: wookie tits
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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