Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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