I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize