I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
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Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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