My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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