Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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