You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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