Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
