I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
