Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
