i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
