so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
they need to just BURY HIM!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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