Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
