I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
