I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
