ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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