Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
