Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
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I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
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I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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