I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
