White coat. Heels.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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