I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
