in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
only if we run a train.
done.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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