Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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