guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Let's paint friendship bongs
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
