you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
