yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
