we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
