Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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