did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
