I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
