It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
