I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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