i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
