We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
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It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
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Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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