Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
