can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
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I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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