How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
